Global Group Chat: High Schoolers Spill on Dating

Author’s note: This piece is built from interviews I conducted with high school students in Kenya, Nigeria, Egypt, Ethiopia, Malawi, South Africa, Lesotho, Japan, Sweden, Argentina, Australia, New Zealand, and Norway. I’ve reimagined their answers as a single group chat so the contrasts are easy to see. Voices are faithful to what they told me; responses have been condensed, lightly edited, and reorganized for clarity, and I added a couple of clearly sourced, real‑world anecdotes to widen the lens. The chat is staged—the feelings, facts, and cultural details are real.

I tap into the group chat on a Friday night, greeting a dozen high school friends from around the world. As the only American in the chat, I’m eager to compare notes on teenage romance. The messages start flying:

Me (USA): Hey everyone! I’m curious. What’s dating like at your schools? Here in the US, we have prom and homecoming and all that. Is dating even a thing for you?

Dorothy (Kenya): It depends on the school. In co-ed schools, people date, but it’s not always encouraged. In girls or boys only schools, it’s less common. We also don’t really have prom. Maybe a social now and then, but nothing huge.

Manar (Egypt): Same here, we definitely don’t have prom or even Valentine’s Day at school[3]. Honestly, having a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school isn’t common. Most schools aren’t co-ed, and culturally it’s just not considered appropriate at that age[4]. My school was strict about that stuff.

Irene (Nigeria): Mine too. Yes, people dated, but very secretly. If you got caught, especially in a Christian school, you’d be expelled. My parents were super strict as well, so I barely went out anyway. House parties happened, but only if parents approved. Hearing about prom and open dating in movies always was an unfamiliar thing.

Weini (Ethiopia): Dating happens, but again, it’s kinda hidden. Public displays of affection are totally frowned upon. We actually do have a prom and graduation, but it’s way more low-key than in the US. Friends just go together rather than formal dates. So you’d see groups of friends hanging out at prom instead of couples.

Tresor (Malawi): Yep, similar story here. Couples keep things hidden from parents. Romantic relationships aren’t openly discussed unless they’re serious, you know? Some schools even have rules against it. But of course it still happens.

Mpho (Lesotho): We had a Matric Dance which is basically our version of prom. We’d dress up and some people brought dates. There was even a Valentine’s Ball with music and food. But any actual relationships were kept secret since the school discouraged dating, and parents weren’t supportive either. Most high school couples didn’t last past graduation anyway.

Precious (South Africa): Our school was a bit more open. We did a whole Valentine’s fundraiser where seniors sold roses and muffins to raise money for the farewell matric ball. Usually the boys ask the girls. I remember one guy asked me really early and we coordinated our outfits... then a week before the ball he bailed on me! I panicked, but luckily another friend stepped in as my date, and our outfits still matched perfectly.

Me (USA): Oh wow, that is very dramatic. Here we have this tradition of promposals. People ask someone to prom in these big romantic ways.

Celine (Japan): Haha, we’ve seen promposals in movies. In Japan, dating is pretty common, but it’s not openly flaunted. Relationships stay very private. We’re a whole bunch more reserved about it compared to Americans. And our schools and parents usually discourage it. They tell us to focus on studying. There’s no prom at all. But we do have other fun events like cultural festivals. We do celebrate Valentine’s Day, but girls give chocolates to boys, then boys return a gift on “White Day” a month later.

Me (USA): That’s so interesting! Actually, I read about one Tokyo high school that went even further. They literally banned dating entirely. They even interrogated a girl for four hours for having a boyfriend and pressured her to quit school. She ended up suing the school and winning damages in court. Can you imagine?

Celine (Japan): Oh, you’re talking about Horikoshi High, right? Yeah, that place is known for strict rules. They have a lot of celebrities as students, so they ban dating to avoid gossip. It’s not the norm but it shows how serious some schools can get.

Ida (Sweden): Hearing this makes me grateful for Sweden. Dating here is totally normal. Kids start having little boyfriends/girlfriends by like fifth or sixth grade. By high school it’s just part of life. Schools don’t care at all unless, I don’t know, you’re making out right in the hallway or something. We do have formal dances and big parties at the end of 9th grade and senior year, but it’s not a “promposal” situation. Usually you just go with your friend or your partner, nothing crazy. Honestly, hearing about secret relationships and strict rules is wild to me.

Brigette (Australia): Same in Australia. Dating is pretty open and accepted, especially by Year 11 and 12. As long as it doesn’t create drama or tank your grades, the teachers don’t mind. And we had a formal at the end of Year 12. It’s like prom, with the dresses, suits, dinner, dancing, all of it. You could come with a date or just a group of friends. Valentine’s Day wasn’t a school event, but sometimes people would exchange chocolates or flowers for fun.

Charlotte (New Zealand): New Zealand’s same too. We call our proms “formals” or “balls.” I never got asked by anyone, so my friends and I just went together and danced like idiots. It was great. And gosh, people here start dating early. We were 13, 14 gossiping about who likes who. My friends and I even had code names for our crushes. One guy we referred to as “Brown Sugar,” stuff like that. There’s always some drama and rumors swirling, but most relationships are pretty casual. A few high school sweethearts stick together long-term, but that’s rare. Parents here mostly just roll their eyes and give a bit of the “be responsible” talk. We have health class with sex ed, so they hope we’ll at least be smart about things.

Andy (Argentina): I’m loving these stories. In Argentina, it’s also relaxed. My school had no dances at all. No prom, no homecoming so less pressure in that sense. Honestly I was relieved. Seeing prom on TV looks fun but stressful! We did all go on a big graduation trip together instead, which was great. As for dating, plenty of people had flings or casual relationships. It was understood that most high school couples wouldn’t last. I got my first real boyfriend in senior year, but it wasn’t super serious. The school didn’t have any rules against couples. We could even kiss on campus and teachers wouldn’t say much. We just didn’t do it in front of the principal, out of respect.

Ingrid (Norway): We might win on the least strict vibe in Norway. There’s actually no formal dance here at all, but what we do have is something called Russ. Basically, for the final weeks of high school, seniors turn into party animals. From April until our national day in May, it’s nonstop partying in red or blue overalls. We even deck out buses with lights and sound systems and cruise around celebrating. It’s insane and so much fun. As for dating, it’s totally up to us. By 18 we can drink legally, and partying mixed with dating is just normal. Parents here trust us a lot. They know we’re out having fun on weekends and they’re cool with it. There’s a strong trust between teens and parents in Norway, which I’ve learned isn’t the case everywhere.

Me (USA): Wow, hearing all this… I’m kind of amazed. In some places, falling in love as a teen is this big secret, and in others it’s just part of growing up.

Ida (Sweden): Seriously. It’s like each of our cultures has a totally different comfort zone for teenage love.

Charlotte (New Zealand): Strict school or not, you can’t stop teenagers from crushing on each other. We just get creative if we have to, right?

Manar (Egypt): Haha, maybe especially if we have to. Even without dating, plenty of crushes happen in the classroom.

Precious (South Africa): And plenty of awkward moments too.

Me (USA): Yep! Even with all these rules and customs we’re all just figuring out what love and growing up mean to us.

As our global chat winds down, I smile at my screen. In this imaginary conversation-turned-essay, I’ve learned that teenage love is both universal and uniquely shaped by where we’re from. Whether it’s secret glances in a strict school hallway or a big prom night spectacle, the heart of the matter is the same: we’re teens trying to understand trust, love, and ourselves. Different systems, funny stories. Strict rules or not, in the end, we’re all more alike than we knew. And that realization is pretty sweet, no matter what part of the world you’re in.